Blog.

Dear to me, 

I have been compelled to start a blog. Oh how technology encourages us to write our deepest thoughts on a virtual space for the world to see :) I actually put a lot of thought into the pros and cons of starting a blog. In the end, I came to the conclusion that I needed a space where I could write out my thoughts in hopes of figuring out who "sarina" is. From this semester, I've realized that I don't take the time to figure out my thoughts and then I keep doing and doing that I never just "think."

For most of my life, I've always focused on others and never really thought to figure out who I was. I figured as long as I keep giving and moving forward with my goals that I would figure out who I was along the way. Inadvertently, I constantly question who I am. How do people know who they are?

If someone asked me, "who are you?" How would I answer? Here are some things that pop into my head:

• I am a child of God
• I am a daughter, 
• I am a sister, 
• I am an aunt, 
• I am a friend, 
• I am a girlfriend
• I am a worker, 
• I am a giver
• I am pursuing my goals and dreams
• I am compassionate, serious, goofy, clumsy
• I am newly natural

I am sure that I could go on and on, but do I want these categories and labels define who I am? This semester, I have began to question what labels and titles truly mean and how does it contribute to me as an individual? I am not sure if I want these labels to solely define who I am as an individual...

For the year 2012, I want to actually have a new years resolution, but it won't be called a resolution. It will be a "Dear to Me." (whatever that means!) I want it to be a living document that continues to be edited and added to, hence, this blog. I do, however, want to have some concrete objectives that I hope will give my year direction. Some objectives so far (not in any order):

• Take more pictures! Memories are important and who knows what we'll remember when we're old and gray..
• Continue to confidently grow in my naturalness and all that I am within that realm- hair, health, body, diet
• Grow my hair as much as I can! By next August I hope my hair is past my ears!
• Create a healthier diet and by the end of next year I would like to have a 75% or more plant-based diet (not quite vegetarianism but I wanna get there!)
• Not going to put any numbers yet, but I want to exercise more and be pleased with my body
• Learn to say no- i doubt I will truly ever learn this but I want to learn limits for myself
• Travel more- whether its down the street or another country, I want to travel! 2012 already has some great sights ahead: Israel, Jamaica, New York City, Ireland, South Dakota, and hopefully Guatemala or Nicaragua---- more more more!
• Grow more in Christ, my Lord and Savior. Who am I in Him? I want to learn how to love Him to gain more appreciation for all He has done for me and all He continues to do
• I no longer want it to be my plan, but HIS plan

Although those are a few, my mind IMMEDIATELY wants to break these objectives to pieces and plan plan plan! I would plan out each objective as specific as possible and get super excited and motivated about it and then....would it happen?!? Ehh, maybe for a good 2 weeks, but then I would get busy and other priorities would get in the way-- that is another conversation topic.

Instead of planning and detailing, I am going to stop that and just begin to do things one step at a time, without a plan. I no longer want it to be my plan, but HIS plan- that is the objective. But, in the meantime, I will work on just not having a plan, in hopes that I will learn what His plan is for me.

Today I spent a wonderful time with my family- that doesn't happen very often, so, when it does, I must cherish the moment! We exchanged gifts early, and I got the camera I wanted! But what was even better, was seeing the happiness that came from my family when they received their gifts that I got them. Yes, I spent TOO MUCH money on their gifts, but it was worth it :) Tomorrow, I really want to do some community service, but, of course, when you go looking for it-- its never there! I found one place, so hopefully that will work out. I also give my boyfriend his present, and I feel so bad! I decided to take a chance and buy him some "cool" clothes that I thought would look good on him....but, I come to find that his mom and dad always buy him clothes! I mean, my clothes will be way cooler, but I always want my gift to be different from anyone elses! Then, it would really suck if he didn't like them! We shall see....

Quote on my mind:

“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.”-Kahlil Gibran